Five Essential Body Language Tips
1. Our shoulders
We carry most of our emotion in our shoulders. As soon as they start to droop and slope forward we display disappointment and a lack of confidence. And when they are pushed too far back we appear arrogant. A tiny adjustment makes a huge difference. We don’t want to take our personal problems into the workplace so when we are anxious or in a bad mood we need to be particularly aware of the position of our shoulders. And learning to judge the moods of other people by looking at their shoulders and not just the expression of their face is skill worth learning.
2. Eye–contact
It is a generally accepted that looking a person in the eyes is a sign of respect and shows interest; it is easy to identify people with poor eye–contact skills. But looking straight into someone’s eyes is deeply personal, and there are times when we need to remove the personal bit from an interaction or discussion. If you have some challenging feedback to give to a colleague, student or client, it’s worth finding a point of reference such as a computer screen or a document for you both to focus on which clearly identifies that the “problem” is not part of the relationship between the two of you and can be solved by working together rather than by being confrontational.
3. It’s in the Brows
Ask a cartoonist which part of the face is most expressive and he will probably tell you that it is the eyebrows. Think just how many expressions can be conveyed simply by using the eye–brows: anger, surprise, sincerity, concern, disbelief. And because these gestures are so minute, think just how easy it is to misread someone else’s expression and how our own can be misinterpreted. Be aware of what your eyebrows say about the way you are feeling.
4. Positioning the hands
Open hand gestures with the palm facing upwards usually indicate friendliness and approachability. Closed hand gestures with the palm facing downwards usually indicate credibility and stability. Learn to adapt your hand gestures so that they are in sync with the persona you wish to project. Liars often hide their hands from view!
5. Body language around the world
If you are travelling abroad – especially working abroad – spending a little time to research the nonverbal language within the culture is very worthwhile. For example:
- In India, as well and in Thailand and Tibet, the top of the head is a sacred area – it’s actually considered part of the soul. Giving a child a friendly pat on the head could get you into serious trouble.
- In Greece and in several countries in the Middle East, including Pakistan and Iran, nodding the head means ‘no’ and shaking the head means ‘yes’.
- In Japan, eye contact should be kept to a minimum. It’s considered disrespectful, and respect is a vital part of the identity of a Japanese person. In many Arab countries prolonged eye contact and very close proximity is actually normal.
